His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize