Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
