this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
His hands were made for my vagina.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
