Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I am one with the molecules
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
