The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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