You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
The cops high fived after they tackled you
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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