I wish i was in the wii world.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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