I'm lost and stupid without you.
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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