im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
