i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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