my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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