dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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