Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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