I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
How external is "for external use only"?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
