Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
