WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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