ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
How does one acquire holy water?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
