Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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