I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Randomize
