he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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