Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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