If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
