Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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