Kiss
Puke
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I could have mohawked her pubes.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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