and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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