We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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