how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
