Jerry, you need to find god
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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