Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
