How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
And then my night got REAL pukey
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
