I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
