i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
