I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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