I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
