I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
