I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
