Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
