piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
You've changed since you got that strap on
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
