Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Randomize