Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I need a burrito and a hug.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
