No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
