dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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