pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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