i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize