we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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