i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
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