i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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