Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
