I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
