We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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