What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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