If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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