I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I think I sprained my soul last night
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize