That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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