No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
40s are totally the cure
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Randomize
