We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
