I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
