I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
