you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I enjoy the company of your penis
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
