My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I just googled if crying burns calories
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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