she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
