U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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