Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
