Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize