Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
