I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
