I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
