you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
