I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
